Disconnecting is part of retirement. Last fall, I was a bit worried about whether I would be able to do that. After all, I had worried over the problems of the department for more than 20 years, and it had been my job to fix as many of them as possible. How was I going to manage to no longer care what happened?
My solution to that has been to remain fairly well uninformed. If I can't do anything about a problem anyway, it's better to not even know about it. I first learned this when my kids were at college. I was not of the helicopter generation of parents, and this was before cellphones and texting. My younger daughter went to college hundreds of miles away in another state and I generally found out about problems and crises after the fact. At 1 a.m. on a Friday night, I did not lie awake worrying about where she was. For all I knew, she was fast asleep in her dorm room. Worrying made no sense when I knew nothing at all. On the other hand, my older daughter lived at home while attending a professional school. When she still hadn't gotten home at 2 a.m. on a Friday night, I knew about it and I worried.
So when I planned my retirement, I determined that I would deliberately remain uninformed about goings-on in the department. For the most part, I have successfully done that. But I still have friends there so last week I went back to campus and visited with some of them. It was a great time, such fun to visit with them and catch up with what is going on with them personally. The students wanted to know my opinions about their work, and of course that is always a great ego-booster! And it was such fun seeing how well they were doing. One of the students, the one who had stood outside my office wailing about what she was going to do when that office was empty, had not only performed admirably in her job but had also applied to two hard-to-get-into grad schools and been accepted into both. For all of my friends, there may have been problems in the department that they were dealing with, but I think they sensed that I didn't want to go there.
So I came away with good warm feelings -- and no worries whatsoever.
My solution to that has been to remain fairly well uninformed. If I can't do anything about a problem anyway, it's better to not even know about it. I first learned this when my kids were at college. I was not of the helicopter generation of parents, and this was before cellphones and texting. My younger daughter went to college hundreds of miles away in another state and I generally found out about problems and crises after the fact. At 1 a.m. on a Friday night, I did not lie awake worrying about where she was. For all I knew, she was fast asleep in her dorm room. Worrying made no sense when I knew nothing at all. On the other hand, my older daughter lived at home while attending a professional school. When she still hadn't gotten home at 2 a.m. on a Friday night, I knew about it and I worried.
So when I planned my retirement, I determined that I would deliberately remain uninformed about goings-on in the department. For the most part, I have successfully done that. But I still have friends there so last week I went back to campus and visited with some of them. It was a great time, such fun to visit with them and catch up with what is going on with them personally. The students wanted to know my opinions about their work, and of course that is always a great ego-booster! And it was such fun seeing how well they were doing. One of the students, the one who had stood outside my office wailing about what she was going to do when that office was empty, had not only performed admirably in her job but had also applied to two hard-to-get-into grad schools and been accepted into both. For all of my friends, there may have been problems in the department that they were dealing with, but I think they sensed that I didn't want to go there.
So I came away with good warm feelings -- and no worries whatsoever.
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