I've started reading Mary Lloyd's book, SuperCharged Retirement, and think it may have enough good content to make it worth giving a sort of progressive book review as I work through the book.
At first I started writing today about what Lloyd had to say on "sorting" -- our need to know what it is we don't want to do, and the need to say No when someone offers an activity in that category. While that's important, there didn't seem to be a lot to say about that.
So I moved on, to where Lloyd suggests we retirees consider whether we need to preserve a sense of competence. She described her experience: "Many of the things that confirmed my value for me internally were in the work setting. There, I was perceived as competent and a resource to others. There, I got to solve complex problems as part of a team of intelligent, fun, enthusiastic peers. There, I knew how to do what needed to be done and got regular feedback … that I was doing it well…. [After leaving], before very long I totally lost my sense of competence in terms of what I thought of myself."
Lloyd said that for her, it was absolutely critical that she find things to do that required what she considered "important" skills. She considered herself competent at cooking and other homemaking skills but for her, excellence there was not sufficient. She finally determined that she would become a writer, a good writer. Getting published gave her a sense of competence that she valued.
This problem will not necessarily present itself to every retiree. However, it has been in the back of my mind because I was in a similar situation some years back. I was a stay-at-home mom when my daughters were preschoolers. I became skilled at all sorts of homemaking skills: not only cooking and baking but also canning, freezing, and preserving food from the garden, sewing and crafts. (Well, with the crafts maybe I never got actually skilled, but I tried.) I had a freezer full of homegrown food; I had shelves full of canned pumpkin and homemade pickles, jellies, and ketchup; and my daughter had a full Laura Ingalls Wilder costume complete with bonnet for Halloween dressup. My family duly appreciated all this. But I never felt really competent until I got into the workforce.
It does not necessarily follow that I will need to return to the workforce now in order to preserve a sense of competence. When I began to consider retirement, my assumption was that I would be able to say "been there, done that." During those long years of work, I proved I could solve complex problems and be a resource to others and I do not necessarily need to continue doing that forever.
Whether that assumption is valid remains to be seen. I haven't been retired very long yet!
At first I started writing today about what Lloyd had to say on "sorting" -- our need to know what it is we don't want to do, and the need to say No when someone offers an activity in that category. While that's important, there didn't seem to be a lot to say about that.
So I moved on, to where Lloyd suggests we retirees consider whether we need to preserve a sense of competence. She described her experience: "Many of the things that confirmed my value for me internally were in the work setting. There, I was perceived as competent and a resource to others. There, I got to solve complex problems as part of a team of intelligent, fun, enthusiastic peers. There, I knew how to do what needed to be done and got regular feedback … that I was doing it well…. [After leaving], before very long I totally lost my sense of competence in terms of what I thought of myself."
Lloyd said that for her, it was absolutely critical that she find things to do that required what she considered "important" skills. She considered herself competent at cooking and other homemaking skills but for her, excellence there was not sufficient. She finally determined that she would become a writer, a good writer. Getting published gave her a sense of competence that she valued.
This problem will not necessarily present itself to every retiree. However, it has been in the back of my mind because I was in a similar situation some years back. I was a stay-at-home mom when my daughters were preschoolers. I became skilled at all sorts of homemaking skills: not only cooking and baking but also canning, freezing, and preserving food from the garden, sewing and crafts. (Well, with the crafts maybe I never got actually skilled, but I tried.) I had a freezer full of homegrown food; I had shelves full of canned pumpkin and homemade pickles, jellies, and ketchup; and my daughter had a full Laura Ingalls Wilder costume complete with bonnet for Halloween dressup. My family duly appreciated all this. But I never felt really competent until I got into the workforce.
It does not necessarily follow that I will need to return to the workforce now in order to preserve a sense of competence. When I began to consider retirement, my assumption was that I would be able to say "been there, done that." During those long years of work, I proved I could solve complex problems and be a resource to others and I do not necessarily need to continue doing that forever.
Whether that assumption is valid remains to be seen. I haven't been retired very long yet!
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